always be grateful no matter what

i miss my long hair. 

and i miss my 60kg body weight. 

now im like omg, okay i really have to start my diet alr lah. 

no more eating nonsense. at least when im not outside. 

and when im working. 

lets just start with simple workout for a week. 

200 jumping jacks. 

10 second planking 

30 sit ups. 

just this. okay? and to eat moderately. 

hmm but today is pay day, and i feel like eating pastamania haha. 

okay no. 

chicken breast, egg and edamame later. 

night duty later, so im not gonna eat during the shift. 

i try my best to lose 5kg within this month ok? have to do this. 

ups and downs

3 years in nursing were not easy. but thanks to good colleagues, i had overcome it all. 

i made the right choice to be one hehe.

so in 3-4 years time someone said he will marry me, and im thinking how would it be like being a married woman? haha lol

been in and out of relationship in my life, i hope this current one is my last. 

working has been way way so tired these days, cant wait for Sunday though, cause it's our 2nd. 

monthsary haha. and it has been way too long i had a proper date with khairrul affien. 

cant wait for a good long date with my fav human. 

grateful.

hello everyone! 

tomorrow is gonna be our first monthsary. hehe. 

yes the 6th. 

and i am so excited to give him the gift which i bought weeks back.

thank you for taking away all my insecurities aside. for taking your time to come down and explain to me about your past and tell me not to probe so much on it. 

thank you for being so patient with me explaining things all over again bby. 

everybody knows how annoying ill get and how easy for me to get so jealous. 

most importantly, thank you for fetching me from home and met my mum. 

i feel so secure when im with you i really dont know why haha. 

love you to the moon K. <3 p="">

see you tomorrow after work. 

weakness.

hey there everyone. well, i just wanted to type it out so yeah.

to my loyal readers, thank you for reading. 

but i think i need help. 

idk, idk whats wrong with me but there's always one thing that i will never learn from my prev past relationships. never. 

1. i still like to look at my bf's past. and lookout his past gfs.

2. i still stalk bf past like crazy. to the extent of stalking his past photos ands post. 

3. i still continue to hurt myself by seeing his past posts. 

4. i still think that he can never love me as much as he love the girls from his past. 

i remember my prev ex, indra hidayat told me this is my very weakness that he could not take it, and not only him but, elfee too. 

idk, idk how to help myself from getting rid of all this negative feelings.

i know he loved me. but i am just so good at pushing people who loved me away. 

i suck at rs. i think thats why my rs has always failed. 

cause time and time again im hurting myself with his past. 

i just cannot. 

am i the only one who has this weakness ? im such a problematic girl. no wonder all the guys who loved me cant stand me anymore. 

how? what if khairrul cant stand me too. 

i just wanted to cry (in fact i am crying) when i saw his prev post with his ex, saying he went stargazing (and he planning to stargaze with me) , he has couple shirts with them (which i planning to couple with him) he had couple rings with them.. he loved them wholeheartedly.

i guess im selfish when come to love. i want him to love me and only me. and say good things to me. 

he is everything i ask for although he has abit of flaws but im sure he is the one for me..

but i just cant help but to think of the past girls he's with.

i cant help it..

help...

what do i do.. 

i have already fought with him over this and it hurts, and idw to talk it to him cause im afraid, history will repeat. and he will leave me cause i am just so annoying..

come to think of it, how did my ex even tahan me for years?

i think i gave them all the good reason to cheat on me. 

1. salikin tahan me for 2 years? 

2. izzi ): for 2 years also.

3. hidayat for 2 years too.. 

and elfee my ex date for 4 months.. 

and i wonder how long he can tahan me this khairrul. 

hais

im just a sucker at keeping someone i love. 

help. idk how to keep someone in my pocket. all i do is to suspect them, and look back at their past and hurt them and push them away from my life..

help. i love him very much but i cant help but to be hurt by his past.

hais.

i am just so so down.

my life is such a roller coaster.

hello readers! it's been so long isnt it? haha. 

yap im back updating. 

and just wanna type it down. 

i have been a staff nurse for 3 years already. 

and i finally decided to take bachelor in nursing. 

financially i am alright and i think i can handle it,  with the great support from my family especially my mum, i want to thank her for everything in life, and i want to make sure she retired by 60 years old. i think she deserve the rest and everything on this earth. 

my mum who sacrificed her youth just for her kids, i think its the most admirable thing ever. and i hate those who disrespect her. i make sure my future in law respect her. 

"the best relationship usually begins unexpectedly" 

and this is soooo true. 

he is not perfect, but he is so perfect to my eyes. 

and yap how we met, how we know each other it is just so unexpected. 

and im pretty sure he is my last, in shaa allah. 

so it has been a month since we know each other, and im so glad and happy you've made us official. 

thank you for loving me.

thank you for being such a gentleman each time we are out. 

thank you for cooking for me during our SG buffet, thank you for ordering food for me. thank you for rejecting me going dutch, you're just so precious to me. 

thank you for thinking of me first before yourself. i have always been thinking of others before myself, even when im with someone, but with you, nope. you treat me so special. youre just so different and special syg. 

you really are one of the precious gems.

i dont know what i do to deserve you but i definitely deserve you and vice versa.

for cycling hard and studying hard, for the future, thank you. 

and it may not be easy, but together we can do it ok. 

i know sometimes times are tough and hard for you, but you'll pull through it. 

i want to show you the world, and some shitless and spineless man who only knows how to complaint, how awesome you are. 

i will always keep him in my prayer.

thank you for making me love someone whole heartedly again. 

and our journey begins, Khairrul Affien. (":

when was the last time i had a good laugh?

even though work has been frustrating but hey, it was awesome. 

met my close friends/colleagues and indeed made my day. 

"you deserve it lah" 

so this is what my friend told me straight to my face when i told her the guy i loved left me. 

haha bloody arse this woman. 

true enough, i guess nothing will ever work out when come to me, in the very first place, it has been me. 

so therefore, from today onwards, i will strive to continue reflecting on my attitude, on myself. 

he is never coming back and a lot of people told me to stop waiting for him, cause he had enough of me already cause i was such a bitch to him. leave him alone.

hahaha. 

i cant believe still a girl like me still have people who love me. i totally don't deserve this. haha

anyway I'm fine now readers. 

i begin to accept the fact that he is never coming back, and i shall not wait. 

alright, get that to your head mira. 

bye readers!

hello everybody!

i remembered the times i was lost. 

i remembered the times i was crushed.

i remembered the times i was broken.

i remembered i have no one to turn to. 

i remembered i feel so heavy.

heavy with sins.

i remembered i want to tear apart. 

i remembered i have enough of dunya. 

and then i remember that this is all temporary. 

i remember Allah swt. 

i remember there is Him. 

i remember him every second of my life, even when i was sinning. but why did not i sujud in front of him? why did i not feel thankful for everything He gave me? why did i kept sinning? why? 

Cause He did not forget to give me a test. 

a test again and again to bring me back to Him. 

oh how shameful i am feeling right now towards Him.

as i have sinned so much only the Almighty knows. 

oh how desperate i am to pray now as currently right now i am menstruating. 

oh how i want so bad to sujud him and beg Him for forgiveness. 

oh how much i yearn, to talk to Him. 

to my readers, you may have think eh why this girl suddenly so religious ?

i don't know readers, i have no answer to that. 

my heart felt so sore that only He can heal now. 

i teared every single prayer. when i pray, i felt so ease. i cried so much in front of Him. I'm powerless. i cant control my life, i cant. everything is fate. 

it is all about fate. i redha. i tawakkul. 

Cause everything is under the hands of the Almighty. 

May Allah swt grant me patience. For patience there's rewards.

Ya Allah oh Ya Allah, for You has given me so many tests in my 24 years of my life. but no other test is greater than You, Ya Allah. 

it has been a week since my heartbreak, and there is no news from him. 

Allah swt showed me how human can change, but He will never change. 

only Allah swt knows how much i love this guy, and only Allah swt knows how hurt i am when he left me. i had a few heartbreaks, but this is just so wow. 

it drives me to Allah swt, made me cry to my Creator countless times, i prayed 5 times per day which i usually don't, i tend to neglect my prayers, tend to forget how thankful i am to Him. for the blessings and some blessings which i don't deserve. Allah swt shows me theres more to life. trust him. tawakkul tawakkul. only for Allah swt, i might be donning hijab. but I'm scared, but in shaa allah, Allah swt my love, will guide me.

dear elfee, if you are ever reading this, I've tried for a week. I guess you just don't love me like u used to. you are different from the first time i met you. just know one thing, i loved you very much. i cherished the memories we created together, the time we spent together. in shaa allah, allah swt makes us cross path each other again should we are meant to be together. 

my heart is still very sore but hopefully Allah swt able to heal it for me.

i regretted everything i have done in the past. I'm a sinner. 

we are all a sinner. 

astarghfiruallah. a reminder to myself love Allah swt before anyone else, for Allah swt love is greater than even a mother. Masyaallah. 

it's friday and we are still living. alhamdullilah. 

guys, hopefully you are otw to masjid for solat jumaat. 

i pray that we all have a good day today. 

May Allah swt bless and protect us all. 

Amin.

day 6.

hey readers. it's the 6th day of my heartbreak and i am handling it well. i am still alive all thanks to the Almighty. and He heals my heart slowly day by day. i learnt that one has to have a lot of patience for surely the pain will slowly go way with the help from the Almighty. 

Amin amin amin alhamdulillah. i am so thankful that my prayers are fixed now. and I'm trying my best to learn as many ayat as i can. i want to give Him the best in each and every one of my prayer. 

this time round i am serious in changing myself, i guess elf really made a huge impact on me. may Allah swt bless him. and i want to thank Allah swt for the pain he cause me. i survived this pain cause of Allah swt. amin amin amin. 

it's gonna be a week, and hopefully Allah swt answers my prayer, as i really wish to hear elf's voice and see him again in dunya in shaa allah. 

we don't text often as always anymore and that doesn't matter anymore, i am so proud of myself for surviving a disease called broken heart.

in shaa allah everything will go smoothy from now on, with Allah swt 's grace and blessing. 

starting work today, night duty, and i think i got a lot of work to do. 

1. ortho presentation

2. blood transfusion competency 

3. TPN (hopefully my grade is fine) 

4. complete my wound competency 

and i will prolly discuss with my boss regarding my future plan.. i mean, i have money it's just, its meant for my family, i hope ntfgh willing to sponsor me in adv dip and degree. in shaa allah. i can only pray cause rezeki only comes from Allah swt. amin. 

Tawakkul. Trust His plans. where everything happens for a reason. 

in shaa allah.

may allah swt bless and protect us all. amin.

asallamualaikum readers.

day 4.

its day 4 of heartbreak. I'm trying extremely hard to move on. i can do this. 

i know he is fine without me. 

and i have to be fine without him.

tho my soul and heart breaks so much. its breaking apart. 

keep praying everyday, for me to forget him, somehow i just cant. 

we are just friends now. 

and i have to accept that. cause that is what he wants. i have to respect him, maybe he can find a better girl than me. 

who won't treat him like how i treated him. 

but i know one thing, i love him. i still do. and idk when will i ever move on.

back to single life. back to being nur azmira.

Assalamualaikum readers. 

i have seen my stats. kinda feel overwhelmed by the number of readers who read my blog. whoever you guys are, thank you for reading about my life. 

so in my previous post, i wrote about how great has it been for my life and my family. and i was thankful. but indeed, the Almighty wants to test me and my family again and again. Alhamdullilah. 

So my niece, Sarah Y, her maid went back her hometown (she got home leave) cause my brother and sister in law were kind enough to give her home leave, and guess what, she never came back. 

yap, now sarah has a problem, cause there is no one to take care of her. 

we are just taking turns to take care of her cause all of us are working. till we wait for the next maid. 

poor thing right. we are still currently waiting for the maid, and hopefully this new maid will take care of sarah sincerely. and all we can ever say is alhamdullilah. cause i believe everything happens for a reason. 

my family is closer now (actually alr close) is just that we are all working so we have no time for each other. but ever since, we stand together to think about the problem we are facing. 

i just realised how awesome(actually she's awesome since ever) my mum is. strong enough to even keep the family together no matter what happens. 

Thank you Allah swt for opening up our eyes. that we hasn't spent time together, and that we cannot depend on people for our ease. 

So yesterday, my mum, my sister, my two nieces and myself went to jurong bird park. it was super chaotic. i mean, all it takes is just an hour. an hour to get all sweaty armpits. and with 5% of energy left. 

and i can be a mother already. HAHA. 

i love how my two nieces know that I'm their aunty, well of course lah haha. 

and about me.. i suffered a recent heartbreak lately. 

well someone whom i love very much left me. he let me go so easily. and to think he's the one who chased me, and made me his gf. yet he so easily let me go in just 4 months. 

after taking my heart, after owning my love, he threw it away. 3 days back. 

i did my part, i did what i can. i know partly it has been my fault. my insecurities is a nuisance. and i have to improve on that, well i got an advice from a good friend saying, to remove insecurities in your life, is to love yourself more. and he is right, i think i have not been loving myself. i allow him to use me in anyway, i allow him in my heart instead of protecting it knowing it has been scarred so many time. 

and my friend said, he loves himself more than me that is why he is perfectly fine without me, and that he does not love me much. 

idk why but this breaks me so much. cause i really love this guy. yet.. maybe this is another test from Him again. i may have forgotten Him, and this is the way for me to fix my relationship with Allah swt, and myself. 

i tot all along was my fault, if only i paid attention to him, if only i haven't been so insecure, if only i haven't been such a child, maybe, he would love me more. but my friend snapped me and said, "no, if the guy loves you, he will never let you go. he just loves himself too much, more than you, he wants to protect himself and not you" 

idk why but this is so heartbreaking cause i tot he is different. 

different from the rest. i don't blame him for leaving me. i just know this is all a test. 

if he is meant to be mine, he will be. 

and the most heartbreaking message he sent me was, "i don miss you much" when i missed him so much only Allah swt knows. 

all this is a lesson for me, a person can change so much if he has no intention to be part in your life. 

i guess this is my fate. my love life has always been horrible, you readers should know if you have been reading. 

i accepted this test. i know everything happens for a reason. 

i did not eat for 2 days cause of this. yeah, ikr. I'm the person who love food. and i know i was like this 4 years back. but this time round, i told myself to fix relationship with Allah swt and love myself more. so don't do this to myself. 

it's hard cause every single time i close my eyes, i see him, i see elfee. which is why i haven't been sleeping so well even now. but i used the time to pray and pray. may Allah swt strengthen my weak heart. 

and so it's mayday. its may now, and 2017 hasn't been well for me so far. lots of things happen, but i don't blame anyone. i am just thankful instead. cause Allah swt shows me he still love me to give me all this test. 

alhamdullilah. 

in shaa allah, things will be better from now onwards, and i hope i can be stronger now than ever. 

i can DO THIS. 

its tough cause it has been 3 days, my heart still aching so bad, but in shaa allah, He will show me the way. 

and to you guys readers, thank you for reading. ill be fine. ill be perfectly fine. i have been thru worse. 

and this time round i promised myself to stand strong. and be a good servant to Allah swt.

wherever he is, whatever he is doing, i know he is perfectly fine without me. memories stay, i will never forget how special he made me feel, how he treated me, how he remember every single habit of me. what i like what i dislike.
if you ever reading this, pls know i loved you very much and this is why i let you go. cause i respect you. respect how much you want to protect your heart from me. thank you for everything.

and if we ever crossed path again, well idk. only Allah swt knows.
you may be someone's husband already.

till then, ill be here fixing my heart. 

Everything happens because of Allah swt

hello readers! 

syukur oh syukur ya rabbi alamin.

alhamdulillah, syukur ya allah. 

im so glad that my family is stabilised now. my mum no longer having financial difficulties to raise us. my abang and his family will have his own house soon in July this year. my kakak and her family already have her own house and already moved out. both my nieces are taken care of well by their bibik (maid) and my grandma is enjoying her retirement age, reading Quran and eating out happily at coffeeshop. my mum just have to work for my little brother and the house we currently living, which I'm helping her sharing the burden as well. all in all, things in my family going smoothly and i only have Allah swt to be grateful and thankful with. those old days when we are not in good terms, where we are all in a confusion state, when we are all not in stable moment, where we suffer financially, we manage through it all with Allah swt, and my mum strength. 

how can i make myself suffer from stupid things when all i see is only blessings in life? to those who hurt me, betrayed me, cheated me with my feelings, may allah swt blessed you too. :) 

this is Sarah Yamin, my first niece. my abang's daughter.

Lia Qistina, my second niece. My kakak's daughter 

Lia Q.

Sarah Y.

both my nieces have their own maids, lucky much? my mum have 2 maids now. LOL.


So today I've met my old friend. she and me have the same fate. but now, we both are happy with our lives. thank you Allah swt.

so after meeting my old friend, i went to visit my sister's house and got to eat her cooking which was exactly the same as my mum's.

so apart from family, my career is fine too. just that i have yet to study degree cause of I'm still saving up. but my boss sign up my name for some sponsorship tho. i hope i can get it (: in shaa allah. in any case, I'm working in NTFGH and i have served the society as a staff nurse for 3 years, and I'm proud. 

and 3 months back, someone added me in fb and started chatting with me via fb messenger. (: and things just started to spark. especially the first time i met him.

he's a great friend, a great companion.

and i thank Allah swt for making me and him cross path together. 

what else can i ask for in life. 

and now, i need to catch up with theHandsomes and my close colleagues. it's been way too long. 

nevertheless, i am thankful and grateful for everything right now. 

i just want my family to be healthy and happy always. 

my loved ones.

thank you for reading readers!

unlucky march.

hais i is suffering from hives now. and i hate it. currently my hands are all swollen and my lips are swollen too ):
so currently right now, i have to avoid fast food completely, no oily foods. no eggs, and only porridge and vegetables ):
at least for a month. from tomorrow onwards.
at least till 24th. cause i is have a date on 24th. haha. so i have 9 days, 9 days to eat right, eat clean.

it's gonna suck cause for the past 24 years, i have been eating good food. sigh. well, time to change my lifestyle huh? no more procrastinating already. heard exercise is good too for my skin problem.

so stress right now, but my mum is even more stress seeing my condition like this. i totally have no appetite to eat. totally.

why so many things has been happening to me lately?

i need a break, like seriously a good break. but that only can happen when I'm really cured.
argh it sucks, when you love to eat and this happens to you, so you need to control what you eat.

2017 doesn't seems the year for me.

my heart is dead

walking alone around jurong point doesn't help me anymore like it used to.
i am worried, it has already been a week, idk. i am so stress. somebody save me.

siberia

i guess whenever i met someone in my life whom i instantly click with, is definitely not the one for me. i have failed, almost twice. meeting such someone. 

been under a lot of emotional stress lately i guess this is why my period delayed this month, been in denial, been flashing the days in past. not healthy. 

it's just so sad that whatever effort you've made it all gone to waste. and now you're just seeing that someone giving the effort to another. ): 

im so tired. tired. of loving. 

an option.

life. we will never get satisfied with what we have. 

and then we make people who hang around with us becomes an option. 

an option for our needs. basically a standby in case you feel lonely, there's always someone who is an option for you can spend time with. 

selfish huh? we are all selfish in a way because we want to feel good. we want to make sure we are not hurt by anything. we want to protect our heart. in a way, we hurt others. and that is bad, cause karma is always there. in the end, you'll feel hurt. 

so what's the point? if you find out you're an option, let him/her go. you deserve so much better. and you on the other hand, think twice of who you had made someone an option, let him/her go as well. life is too short to hurt someone. we should never break someones heart just to mend ours. selfish. too selfish. 

and when you let go, you'll realise how awesome it feels. 

thats when you're finally matured. matured in a way. you can handle relationships. and life. 

and people, if you have someone who willing to love you, willing to know about you, willing to go all out with you, give him/her a chance. don't shut them. never treat someone who treat you like their world, like shit. please. never. you should jolly well know how it feels to be taken for granted. 

be with them, get along with them. love them. open your heart. 

and to the people who took you for granted, they don't know what they have lost. they don't know you can sacrifice your life for him/her. they will not know no matter how many times you tell them. they are blinded. blinded by how lucky they are. 

i find people who have someone who can go against all odds for them are lucky, yet i feel sad that these people are not appreciated, often or not they are being treated like trash and this is the reason why there is no such thing as true love. they turn dark, turn mean, and hurt the people who can do the same. 

life. it is just so overwhelming. 

make it simple. 

love people who love you.

be happy with whatever you have right now.

realise how lucky you are.

and let go. 

have a nice day readers. (:

Troubled

for the past few months i have trouble sleeping and i hate this. i have no idea what's troubling me and why isn't my heart is at ease. and i have no intention to share it with anyone not even my mum. 

i just think i can handle this myself but as days pass by, i find it so hard. 

though i have been working non stop for the past few days, and although i have no night shift but PAPAPA shift is a pain. and with only a day off , it's not enough rest. but in a way i kinda like it cause work distracts my mind. me, who overthinks too much. 

i realised as i get older, my patience seems to be running out. nevertheless, i love my job, i love serving those patients of mine who needs me, who depends on me. somehow after my bond finishes on 19 may, i have no idea what to do. 

degree? advanced diploma? i have no idea man, i have no idea whether to further advance in nursing career. but then again, besides nursing what else can i do? 

i sucks at being a salesman, i hate promoting product. i sucks at being in customer service, cause i have no idea whats my purpose. i cant see myself in other uniforms except nursing. 

nursing is the only thing that i willing to work for life for. but i don't know man. you see, again, i am confused. but my patients always make me smile unknowingly, especially those little ah ma and ah gong. i guess i really love working in the ward and the environment of the hospital. and i guess i need a break but i have no idea where i can go. 

i hate traveling alone but then again i don't have much friends to go with, everybody has their own life to deal with. my mum is busy with my sister's stuff that is going on, i mean she's moving out of the house and everybody gets angsty cause there's just so much to do. let me tell you guys, at least 60% of the stuff in my house belongs to my sister. 

i know right. but march is gonna be a breeze cause I'm working non stop again, my roster is such a pain. by end of the march, the house will be empty. 

come to think of it, after many years, finally my sister and brother has their own family and they are on their own. kinda sad though but oh wells, life has to move on. 

i guess from there i just focus on my fitness training. 

though I've been eating crap, hahaha, hey actually my craps are expensive craps. 

so broke now, and pay day is like 6 more days. dammit. 

kinda feel much better after blogging, i think this was the exact reason why i created a blog 10 years back. haha I'm such a geek. 

in my 24 years of my life i must say i have been hated, been loved, been accused, been lost, been cheated on, been lied to, been liked by people I've met. but also, I've lied, I've cheated, I've loved, I've hated, i've liked, I've accused and I've lost those who really treat me like their world.

i wish i can go to them and apologised, for treating them like trash, i have my regrets, i have hurt people who don't deserve to be treated yet i complaint that i am not supposed to be treated such. life is really like a roller coaster, we have our ups and downs, we have our own taste of life. 

kinda envy those people who have settled down, like career settled, marriage life settled, family life settled, billings life settled and they seem to have nothing to worry about. but then my mum told me, everybody has their own story, a storybook cant be so perfect. kinda true, but then i will think again, they have everything, whats their story then?

alright i guess i stop typing now. gonna rest for a bit and out to work. PM shift today and tomorrow AM. hate this transition like really hahaha. 

thank you readers for reading.

thehandsomes

We met 7 years back and we are still going strong. <3 p="">

super thankful and grateful i have them. 

i think i can even picture them with their grey hairs. hahaha. i guess thats about it isn't it. you love them, you picture them getting old. cause you know you'll stay with them until that age. 

i used to look forward this date years back, but now it's just another date. 

do you guys have those days when you really think back? what you have done for the past years. 

all i know, i survived. doesn't feel like blogging. just want to continue my netflix.

thats my valentine 2017. heh. Netflix and bed.

and to all couples out there stay true to each other, Happy V day!

coffee is life. and so is modern family.

i miss you. I'm trying my best to not say this to you, but i really miss you. i kept thinking and hoping you'll be okay wherever you are. i don't know if you ever read my blog or will you ever know. all i know i was pushed away, and i shall go. 

everyday i kept telling myself, to go, away from you. cause i know you want me to. you want me to have my own life and be in my own world. you won't miss me, you don't want me. and i have to accept that fact. the fact that you're happier without me. 

i have yet to delete our photos. 

you're the first i dated after 4 years, and it has to happen like this. i was wrong. i should never give myself a chance to love cause whenever i try to, ill lose. maybe i have no power i have no say i have no rights to love someone. as usual. cause its karma. 

i hurt people and people will definitely hurt me back. 

but i will, and shall move on from you. 

wish me luck. 

one change in a spilt second

before i post anything, i want to wish my Chinese readers HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!
heh. that if i ever have readers in the first place.


so what now. hmm.
i am getting pissed with someone lately. that someone changed in just spilt second. i mean like how can you treat a person with so much love and suddenly the next day you just treat the person like a stranger? i mean i never knew a person can be that evil at that certain extent.


not to say that fellow is evil but hey whats up with the promises and sweet nothings? like seriously, do you treat strangers like this? it pisses me off sometimes that people are often taken for granted. and yap, thats you. if you ever read this, just so you know, i am damn pissed with you.


you are a good friend but seriously treat the people around you with dignity and pride.
fml why do i have to meet and know such selfish person? why?
i was trying my best to be a good friend to you, to be there for you if you ever needed someone. but hey what, i was just to pass by your time anyway right? *roll eyes*


i hate fickle minded and selfish person, really. no wonder your life is never at ease. cause you make use of people. now i get it.


karma, it happens. you wait, just wait. so all those promises and words you told youre expecting it to just brush it away? damn you basket. dont ever come back to my life again.

just be myself.

i swear the house is filled with so much noise and laughter thanks to them. #ilovemynieces

show me

i wish i could go back to the past when my dad was still around. i miss him so much it hurts. sometimes i look back and think of what i have done all these while. for the past 24 years, what have i achieved? what have i lost? i must thank the Almighty for waking me up everyday day by day without fail. and today, for making me blogging about this.

i am grateful that i am a nurse now, and surrounded by passionate people, good colleagues and good boss. what can i ask for. i have family, my mum my nieces who look up to me. good friends. but somehow something is just missing which i dont know what it is.

i still feel empty.  i still feel down at times knowing im just not good enough for the society? i don know. part of me seems to let me know that my life is meaningless.

i learnt how to swim, i guess next i want to learn how to cycle.

hais idk lah. my life is annoying. adios.

2017.

Started my 2017 right. 

Hopefully it'll be a smooth and happy year for me and my loved ones. 

All i asked is to be happy everyday and no worries. 

good health. 

oh shit i need to get my insurance ready. 

I'm getting old.