life, wat a joke?

i'll change my no soon. only my closest friends shall know about it. i really love my this no, but am gonna change it soon. yeah. ((:

no use crying over spilled milk. im gonna pull through this. i am. mira, uve gotta face this problem urself. ur life, ur exam is coming. u can do it. GIVE UP IS THE WORSE THING EVER TO DO THAT IN LIFE. never regret, cuz if so, den how u grow? things happen for a reason. im gonna face the music & shall live my life fulfillingly till the end when i heaved my last breath.

im a muslim person, i shall stay true to myself. im strong & i can do this. i can do this. im 18, a grow up person. i can do this. (:

I HATE YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE LIKE THIS.

mira? azmira? who?

truly speaking,

i don know who am i anymore.

i don see my reflection.

i don believe my life.

seriously,

im not sure wat i wan.

im indecisive.

im naive.

im foolish.

i don know. i don know.

only thing i hold on to,

is my religion,

pls keep me strong to survive this ordeal.

pls. show me e rite person the rite way.

PLS.

frens,families, him! wat more can i ask?

I LOVE ALL MY IJC FRENS! MWAH MWAH! SO GONNA MISS THEM AFTER A'S.

*SIGH*

happy day!

i met booboo & i LOVE HIM ((:

happy 18th to me! ((:

20 SEPT IS HERE! & in abt 40 min time, my birthday will end. ((: LOVE TODAY.

first of all, i wanna thank my family for a happy family & celebrating my birthday wit KFC meal & oreo CHEESECAKE. ((:

Secondly, i would like to thank thank my friends who wishes me thru smses(especially rite late in the nite while waiting for 12am of 20sept) & FB.. ((: love you guys. thanks for that warm wishes.

Thirdly, i would like to thank kirin & yunyi for your cake OREO CHEESECAKE! YUMS! ((: n of course my awaiting & expecting present from you guys ((: hehs.

Fourthly, to my shisha, derder & lala, thank you for such a wondeful pinky box ((: i much appreciate that you guys put effort on it((: LOVE IT ALOT SEH.

five, thank you Allah s.w.t for making me live in this world for 18 years alrdy ((:

Summarise for today ((:

my pinky boxy ((:

from : derder, shisha, lala

love their cheesecake! #1 cheesecake

#2 cheesecake from kirin & yunyi OREO!

Yunyi's letter ((:

cute rite?

my sis bought this frm body shop (:

#3 cheesecake OREO! HAHA ((: family love

heheheh i know i willl have more presents coming up! cannot wait! ((: hehe anw those who makes me smile today, thank you sooo much! ((: much love man! :D

hahahahahahahhahahahahahaahha.

ive had so much love from family & friends. wat more can i ask? heh heh ((:

Life is a bliss, if u see urself tat way ((:

i don feel like tmr is my birthday ):

im hurt, im in pain, im crying, do you care?

i think im a fool, i feel like im a foolish, do you care?

i think im stupid, do you care?

i think im an idiot, do you care?

yeah, all you care is about you, YOURSELF.

all you care about is yourself.

Oh god, why do i land myself in such a mess?

Why on earth did i say yes?

Why i met you?

Meeting you is like good & bad.

i think bad ones outweigh the goods.

i hate you. but do you care?

you seems not to care about anything,

n i seems a stupid fool, who cares alot.

i care others too much instead of myself.

i cant even take care of myself, yet i can take care of others.

never would i have thought to be so selfless.

i think this world doesn pay to be nice.

It's time to be selfish.

cough, flu, fever sux. my mum said, being sick, wash away my sins, im glad im sick.

FCUKED UP.

fcuked up. like seriously. fcuked up! fcuked up!

damn fcuking angry wit someone rite now, n damn i knw my bro not gonna trust me anymore. really fcuk sakk. don know why im in this trap hole. fcuk fuck fcuk FCUK LA. cb.

CHICKEN.IM SICK. LIKE ANOTHER WTFFFFFFFFFF SAK. fcuk. FUCK!

GGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i cant even mug or study. fcuk ttm. jus fcuk. fuck. fcuk! -.-

im neither your gf or your wife or someone fcuking related to you!

n damn im fcuking sick now! gaaaahhh! need see DOC ASAP.

FCUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

*SIGH* nvm, nice rite my collage? love it loads. heh.

k bye.

im sick. awesome kan?

aiyo, i feel so stress. stress until ive gotten sick :/ im sick. yeah, im sick. NO! my birthday coming((: must try get well soon baby! :D yeah. hahahaha.

k physic paper was :/ speechless. nvm, gotta focus on chemistry now! yeah! (Y)

im really tired waiting for someone. i really don wish to continue waiting, i think i just go along with wat i have now. yeah, one should always be thankful and grateful ((:

haiya, gonna take medi & sleep.

nite!

.......

YOU, forget about me missing you.

...

OFFICIALLY TIRED.

im so proud ive got true friends, do you?

an old pic. but i loved it. ((: remembering the times, when my love for math is strong. & now, im trying to get tat momentum, i love math, and will get A or B for it. ((:

today! im not sure :/ i think i study math whole day & abit of chem. heh. have to score for chem paper1 &2. if not, i die. hahahaha

kla, don wanna waste more time, i love my life, i aint gonna give up!

so many things to do after A's.

ive gotta work. ive gotta take driving licence. ive gotta go out wit friends (pri/sec/jc) ! yay! hahahaha. cant wait.

k chao.

p.s still waiting for someone to msg me, but haix, im just gonna put that off.

i've found true friendship, have you?

thank you wong yy for giving me such a love card ((: really really make my day. :D n giving presents to my two other bestfriends today really ease me((: n meeting my another bestfriend really make my day((: im happy today, alhamdullilah. hahah so in love wit my bestfriends, i've found true friendship man! after waiting for 18 years ((: they are all ive got, n im gonna stay strong. stay strong mira! Lige goes on! Move it move it! HAHA ((:

yeah! just now papers was ok. cant finish tho but oh well ive tried my best (:

tata! time to study math! COMPLEX! haha

thanks for waiting

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO THIS DEAREST OF MINE ((: LIKE SERIOUSLY.

i cant live without her. :D

nyehahahahahahah one of the person whom i cant live without is her! ((:

she's the best. always thought of others before herself.

as nonsensical as me.

as kind-hearted & easily-to-forgive person as me.

see? mostly her character is like me!

so tats why WE CLICK

altho the first time we met. we seems to don really like each other :/ hahahaha. wat a joke! ((:

so kirin, sth is awaiting for you, and no amount of words can tell you how much i love you. so yeah, i love you & hope you have a great day today! :D

SELAMAT HARI JADI KEPADA TEMANKU YG ISTIMEWA ((:

...

......

..............

...........................

......................................

so today? heh, i will mug Atmo, Hydro & Litho. One more day for miracle to happen. i shall pray & hope tat i can do the first paper tmr . ((:

insyaallah.

a new beginning where i realized to cherish (:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN :D

To all my beloved families &bestfriends & friends ((:

today plan (hahaha kirin gonna so roll eyes when i type tat) PLAN! first thing first, go visit my father's grave and shall pray for him (: den, go eat with family! den, visit my grandma's house & get to see all my cousin! weeehooo! :D

haha lastly,i love my life & shall live life to the fullest day by day ((:

insyaallah i get to achieve my desired result for Alevel :D

THANKS EVERYBODY WHO LOVE ME & TREAT ME LIKE THEIR OWN KIND. ((:

..

...

.....

..........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTFRIEND ANG LILY! ((:

she never fail to advice good stuff to me. she never fail to accompany me home( cuz we both live same area, JURONG) she's one of my perfect bestfriend list, n she's like no other. her "elder sis" character is so amazing. she may be small but her heart is BIG AND GIGANTIC! LOVE HER TO THE MAX :D

HOPE TODAY IS YOUR BESTEST 18TH BITHDAY :D

sth is waiting for you :D get it on mOn k? Enjoy today lily ang! :D

P.S lily is the gal on the right. Like duh-.- rite. i know but some ppl stil mistaken it.HAHAH :D

:)

i dont get jealous when i see my ex with another girl, because my mum taught me to share my old toy with the less fortunate.

-md.fir.

((: happy! syukur alhamdullilah. (:

cherish

today i come school ((:
i look around, and walk around.

i thought to myself, why do i come here? why am i landed in this place? and then, i think about wat ive done all this time in IJC. questions mentioned still lingering in my head.

n den, i come to the school library. the librarian smiled at me ((: and they were all very nice. im the only one in the library, i feel peace & quiet. i feel at ease. The quiet place makes me feel calm. I like the atmosphere. i like libraries. ((: i settled myself down on a table, 2nd floor. it was horrendously quiet cause im the only student there :D i love it. haha. i tot to myself, wat am i supposed to do? Oh consultation later so i prepare myself for that.

Few minutes later, a pretty bubbly beautiful, once a hello-goodbye fren, n a parade square neighbour, nurul came to my desk & studied with me. never would i have thought she would. tats when i realised, im not alone. tats when i realised, everybody else is reaching out to their success. The library is cold, but her company was warm. Its amazing, how so much effect it can be, just that when she came to my side, i feel warm. it's friendship. n tats when i realized, friendship brings courage. I never told her my problems ive had, my sorrows, eventually, it is all gone. it seems i forgotten about yesterday the yesterday the yesterday news, n eventually looking forward to the present. ((:

ive also realized to not always expect your bestfriends to be there for you. Actually, anybody, anyone can give you a smile ((: she may not know how much impact she gave me, but truthfully, im not close to her but thanks to her, my heart once again revived, n i love school ((: yeah, i used to give up on school. but no more :D

thank you nurul humairak. im not sure whether you'll read this, but u make my day. im so geared for prelims now. yeah!

So, let me answer those questions mentioned above. why i come IJC? Because i want to attain an ALEVEL cert. why am i landed in this place? Because i had a chance in attaining that cert. wat i've done? been wasting time, been failing, been skipping class, been procrastinating, been complacent, been good, been rude, been all my bad side. hahah, but im good now. i am.

but know wat?

i need time, to heal this pain still.

i need time, to change myself.

i need time, to be ME.

did i do anything wrong? ):

things had happened and i cant erase it. )): i feel like a sucker. seriously D: today is the last day of puase yet i cant seem to enjoy it.

i feel cheated & guilty & regret. & ): really. been crying & i really don noe who to turn to. i don wan them know the stupidity in me. im so stupid. hell really stupid.

he got feelings for u but y is it so hard for me to tell him that i do have feelings for him? in fact, i turn & shut myself off. misery or wat. )): n up till now, he din reply. i seriously has nth to say...i think im jus too kind. very kind. i don noe. )): but i noe we're so not mean to be..

fren, why u don reply me? i feel miserable know. so sad & been crying. where are you my fren? at least reply me, if u just reply me, i will do anything. like really.

im hurt & no one can see. im sad & no one can help. im miserable & no one knows how i feel.

)): I think im just angry wit myself, tats why i feel miserable.

i don mind. i just gonna live my life happily((:

((:

you can hear me cry again

i hate you! aku benci kau!

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

why am i doing this?

it's irony tat.. nehmind. it's just irony.

I just wanna go school, do my stuff, do my exam and go back home. ): i just felt neglected these days. sigh. i seriously am confused & lost. Im like drowning in the ocean. )): i just need someone to take my hand to get out from this obstacles. Whenever it's near Hari Raya, i would think of my late grandpa and of course, stepfather. No one is ever as nice as them. Come to think of it, i seriously don know who to turn to although i reach out my hand to everyone who needs me. But when i have a problem, i really don know who to turn to. Really.

I just feel used & tires of social life. Today, ive studied Complex No (part 1 & 2) only & abit of hydro and organic chem. Guess tmr, i must level up my amt of work. Been skipping alot of lessons lately, well :/ i really have no mood to come to school every now & then. I just wanna stay home & become caveman & mug like hell.

Been mugging, worrying, sickly, saddening & busy spring-cleaning the house. Just wanna help my mum(: next week monday is physical paper & chem paper 3. i must prepare for that.

jiayou mira! don let them look down on you!

trust me, im different now thanks to you.

Im empty.

No substance, no flavour.

tat's why u despised me.

Fine, i'll get out from your way.

Go, & have a safe journey.

i will change myself.

And let you see

tat i have substance,

i have fruitful flavour.

And i deserve to be your fren, fren.

i need to do this.

Life, what's life without problems? What's life without regrets? What's life without plans? What's life without religion? What's life without with the one you love? What's life without family? What's life without dreams? What's life wtihout food? What's life without goals? What's life without amibition? N lastly, what's life? What is my purpose in life?

The last question is what i have been pondering & probbing about for 18years of my life. I was born as a Muslim who have to obey & continue to regard Allah s.w.t as my God. He gave me life. He gave me chance & hope to experience the life on Earth. Challenges & obstacles are what He had given me. This is my belief & what i believe. Basically, what i have been taught since young. Yes, religion keeps me strong.

This year i faced many challenges. I fought with my family & bestfriends. I behave like as though the world is in my hand, i take love for granted. I don bother bout people who love me, who wants the best & good for me. I heck them. My first ex bf will never leave me alone although i have told him MANY times to go away. he jus wouldn. haix. wat can i do? I shall just mute about it. My second, had moved on with his life & im happy for him((: really, but still i just despised his character now. i see him, i jus cant believe myself falling for tat kind of guy again. NO WAY. haha. my third, was a play. Its just an act, our love is a PLAY. like there' director who cut our show after one month. What a waste of time. Few things ive regret in life but i don wan mention it, cuz i really regret & just wanna forget about it.

I have a family whom i love very much & ive studied all the way for them. Actually i don know why, but i wan to live alone. nevertheless, i know im a malay girl, a malay person is known to love the family very much, and take care of them. I do love them, i do want to take care of them, it's just certain small situation tat me make it up a big one caused me to lose confident wit myself to take care of them. haixxx.

I had many friends. From pri to JC to new friends. And they were all just awesome. Ive found extremely best buddies in JC (: i guess one of the greatest thing i come JC is to meet those awesome fren and gradually become BESTFRIENDS((:

I have a crush in my school. A huge big crush, a crush tat lasted for more than a year. hahaha but i'll get over it, cuz i know we're not meant to be. I have confessed & i feel better. he smiled at me in school ensure that i don do anything wrong. ((: we're friends. although nothing is said, but i knew we're friends((:

I met many new friends recently, which like awesome((: haha, but cant get sooo distracted, ive got ALEVEL. recent one is very decent, i have no idea wat i feeling now, but i know, he's my fren,

ALEVEL ALEVEL ALEVEL. i cant afford to fail this. Cuz my mum paid $444 FOR THIS. UGH. GAH! so i must work hard! been procastinating & sleeping & always sick. i must take care of myself well. Prelim 2 is next week. First paper, phy geog n chem paper 3. yyyyeeeaaaahh mira JIAYOU!!

*sigh like lily* i feel good now((: tthx bloggy!

i think my heart is beating once again.

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate -
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know..

haix. im sick :/ bye guys.

YOU

The sky is full of stars but the moon is you. The earth is full of people but the special person is you. To forget me is up to you but to forget you, I will never do:))

-Afiq Roslim

life's short, rite?

she's pretty but im cute ((:

HAHAHAH love her TTM! MY COUSIN WHOM I NEVER SEE FOR 117126171837213 YEARS! WOOOOOOOO!

hahahah yeah, life's short, i shouldn probe myself further. im neh a problematic gal. hahahah((: someone today make me pissedd! pffffftttt but is tat someone who cheers me up((: thx prince :D hahaha k uhh. cannot spend so much time on comp. time to revision! ((:

*wink*

back! :D

*WINK*

yeah, i know, so much for deactivating my fb acc. *kwangs*

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

cant help it la.

met my cuz & her bf ytd. SUPER HAPPR TO SEE HER. ((: we still look the same as we were 10years back ^^

love her cuz! photos will be uploaded in fb as per norm

byes!

bon voyage

yes, the amount of work for now.

hey readers!

thanks for reading my blog frequently((: will miss you guys out there!

im now preparing for my Prelim 2 Alevel.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

don worry, i'll be back on my 18th birthday((: to update! hahaha

love you guys!

n anything jus text me owite! misses ((:

bye! tc!

HAPPY 18TH EMELY!

((: hahaha just came back from emely's house to give her a SURPRISE BIRTHDAY((: she's ssooooooooo sweeeeeet la ((: hahaha ^^

gonna skip sch tmr ((:

byes!